Ask the Mom’s: Mother’s Day Edition

My mother and I have never really been that close. We’re closer now than we have been in the past, and I suppose that’s a result of my parent’s divorce which is quite sad to say the least, that my parents had to separate in order for my mom and I to become closer and my dad and brother to become closer. 
We’ve never been best friends.  We’ve never talked on the phone about boys or sex or marriage or break-ups or tampons or whatever else mom’s and daughter’s are suppose to talk about.  I’ve never called her in the middle of the night because my baby is screaming and I didn’t know what to do. She’s never called me to ask me if my baby is screaming in the middle of the night.

We communicate by email mostly. We always have- I don’t know why. 
We’ve never had a mother/daughter bond that I would have hoped for. We’ve never been a mother and daughter who are best friends and tell each other everything. Sometimes I wish we were.  Sometimes I wish we did. 
But in high school, she let me borrow her clothes. She even let me borrow her lipstick if I wanted. She let me wear her fancy expensive jewels to the prom. When I was married, she fixed my smudged lipstick. When I had my first baby, she was here.  When she came over to my house two days after he was born and saw that our fridge was bare, she bought us food. Lots of food. When she came the next day and I opened the door with tears running down my cheeks because Lucas was up all night and I was running off of no energy, she held my baby so I could sleep. And when she saw that our crib was without a mattress and a sheet, she took care of it. And when my house was a mess and it was stressing me out, she cleaned it. And when my husband and I needed money, she sent a check. And when she left to go to her home over 2,000 miles away and said, ” I will come back if you need me. Just let me know.” I knew that she meant it. 
I was struggling to find the right mother’s day card this year. You know those mushy, gushy, tear jerker, sweet mother’s day cards? I haven’t bought one of those in years. It always hard for me to find the right card. I looked for a while at the Hallmark store, opening every style of Mother’s day card available, but I couldn’t find the perfect one. 
So this year, I’m sending my mom a letter that I wrote 9 years ago, in the year 2000. I don’t know why, but I never gave this letter to her, and I just found it in my old files earlier this year. It’s written in pencil, in middle school writing, on cat stationary. 
It reads:
I don’t really know how to write a good poem, actually I don’t know how to do many things. But, I do know how to say I love you. 3 very short simple words that anyone could say even Baily or Kona (our family pets at the time). Some people say “I love you” by doing many different things like, hugging, doing something special, or even saying ” I love you.” As you know, I can’t really say that and I guess that’s just the way I am, but just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I do, I really do. Please remember, that I samantha, will always love you with all my heart, through good times and bad, no matter what. Remember and never forget. Thank you mom for everything you’ve done for me, but most of all, thank you for loving me. That is the greatest gift of all. I love you. Happy Mother’s day! 
Love Always,
ME. Your daughter. 
You would never think that this piece of paper is nine years old. All this time it has been laid flat, in a large yellow envelope, with the words mom written on it in small ink and the numbers 2000 in the bottom right hand corner. Tomorrow, I will mail my mom this letter, in it’s original form, just like it is. Because sometimes, words written nine years ago in middle school handwriting on cat printed stationary, say exactly what you need them to say. 
Being a mom is the most important thing in the world to me. The relationship that I do or do not have with my mom has taught me and shown me how important mother’s are. It has shown me the kind of mother that I want to be to my son and to my future daughter. 
Today I am lucky enough to say that this is my first mother’s day. I am blessed to be a mom to my sweet boy.
This post has turned out much longer than anticipated, but I want to know what makes Mother’s day special to you. Do your kids do something different each year, or do you have some sort of Mother’s day tradition? Is there something that you do for your own mom? 
What does being a mom mean to you? 

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

5 thoughts on “Ask the Mom’s: Mother’s Day Edition

  1. My mom and I were never close, either. Not until I was an adult with my own child did I even care to try and “make a mends” but to be honest, even still she gets on my nerves after long periods of time. As a mother now, though, I can understand and respect it. Being a mother, and a good one, means to me that your kids aren’t always going to like you. But I am reassured that at some time in their life, they will come to the same realization and be glad for the years that they couldn’t stand me:)

  2. my mom didn’t have a relationship with her mom. she says to me all the time

    “you have two opportunities to have a mother daughter relationship one as the daughter and one as the mom. I missed out on my first, I WONT miss out on my second”

    It hurts my heart to think about how much I NEED my mom for almost everything but no one was there for her.

  3. Reading the paragraph in which you described all the things your mom did/does for you made me well up. I don’t know why. I guess when you lay it all out like that you really realize how much they do for us.

    I haven’t said ‘I love you’ to my mom in over 15 years — I haven’t said it to any of my family members since I then. My mom and I are quite close but I just can’t say the words. There was a lot of stress in our house in my teen years — around that point I stopped saying it and now it’s been so long that I just can’t — it’s weird. It saddens me.

    Wow… Thanks for the therapy session, haha. Now maybe I should go get some real therapy!

  4. Ahhww! I know what you mean about not being to close to your mom-Living primarily with my dad after they divorced when I was about 5. We are closer now -although it may not be your typical mom/daughter relationship and I really can never buy those mushy cards for her either. It is nice to share the few special moments. Happy Belated Mother’s Day! 🙂

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