Blessed to Stay Home

A while ago I wrote this post about being bored.

Bored because I have to stay at home with my baby.

Poor me.

I have to stay at home and clean house and take care of my baby and try to cook dinner.

Poor me.

I have to nap when he naps, I have to go on walks with him by my side. I have to go to swimming lessons with him and play groups and friends house.

Poor, poor me.

I have to sleep in with him, feed him lunch, play on the floor with him, read books to him, and look at him all day long.

Poor me.

I vow to never complain about this again. What am I thinking?

I am so lucky.

I think I took it for granted for a minute there. There are so many moms that have no choice but to work full time. They don’t get to stay at home, they have to work. Because they are a single parent, because their family needs the income, because they just have to.

For whatever reason they have to work.

You guys know what I mean. I know there are many stay-at-home moms who also get bored like I do. Moms who stay at home with their kids- you know how blessed you are. Let’s remind ourselves. Let’s not take any of those moments for granted.

I get irritated at myself when I think like this. We all do sometimes. We complain about the bad, we complain about the good. We want this and that and more and less and different.

I don’t want to live like that or think like that. I want to be content sitting on the floor playing blocks with my son. I am content, but I’m not saying there are days when I wish I could escape for an hour or two. There are days like that. That’s a normal mom thought I think.

For all the mothers out there who work outside the home at another job, I want you to know that I really respect you and look up to you. Basically I look at you as if you are wearing a red cape and a really fancy hat. You are super women!

Next time I complain about being bored at home, slap me will you?

Gently please.

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

26 thoughts on “Blessed to Stay Home

  1. I am so fortunate my I am able to stay at home with my babies. My sister in law has to work and my mom keeps her kids for her and she still cries sometimes when she leaves them. I couldn't imagine having to leave my kids at daycare with a total stranger.

    I do get frustrated sometimes at not being able to jump up and leave spur of the moment but I think all moms think that way. We all have to complain about something. It's just nature I guess. I have never seen a mother that NEVER complains!

    I think we all need to slow down and take joy in the little things in life. Yes it can be boring sitting at home all the time but at least I am lucky enough to do so and to spend all my time devoted to my wonderful children.

  2. Sometimes we gotta let the frustrations out, It is good – they have to go somewhere. But we also need to remember how blessed we are. We get the priviledge of being with our children – it is a great honor.

  3. No problem! You get naps??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I don't work outside the home, either, and I am NEVER bored! I need more hours in the day to do all the things I WANT to do with the kids and NEED to do around the house. And when I get some time to myself (when the kids go to bed!) I am too exhausted to enjoy it!

    There, now *I'm* complaining, but honestly, I WANT this life, I chose it and I know I'm incredibly lucky and that it won't last forever and that I wouldn't have it any other way.

  4. You are blessed! Sometimes I complain that I work 3 days a week, then I think…Oh my gosh! I only work 3 days a week and make a fulltime income. I am beyond lucky! Many moms HAVE work 5 days a week.

    I don't know if you work out at a gym or not but if you didn't mind taking him there when you need a break, it is a good one! And you feel great afterward!

  5. when i read your old post about being bored… i kinda sorta knew how you felt. i had those moments… occassionally… when i was home on maternity leave. but then i had to go back to work. i work full time. i make the money. my husband stay home.

    it's so funny b/c we always want what we can't have. us working moms would LOVE to stay home and you SAHM would LOVE to get out of house and do other things!!

    thank you for being honest… in both posts. but YES, i will slap you next time you complain about playing with your kid! ๐Ÿ˜‰ just kidding.

    it's tough being out and working. laundry gets neglected, blogs get neglected, “ME” time gets neglected. but i do make it a priority to spend time with my kids when i am home.

  6. and one more thing. I think we tend to “get bored” when they are young (like Lucas' age). when they get older, there is so much more they can do, that you won't get as bored. you'll be going to play dates, bounce houses, library story time, zoo events, swimming, craft time at home, etc etc. it really does get better when they're older… more busy, but better!

  7. thanks for this. I get complainy sometimes and then my husband says wait, didn't you nap today? Didn't you hang out with your friends? And then I feel bad because he is getting over the flu and still goes in for 10 hour days…it's natural but we should stop and enjoy where we get to be ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Believe me, staying home with your kids while they are young, or at anytime in their lives, is something you will NOT regret! Having been there, I know that some days seem to drag on and on. But hey, with all of these social networking options, the day should not drag on! Enjoy these times!

  9. LOL I LOVE this new post! I feel SO blessed to be able to stay home and be a homemaker, mommy and wife. It is the biggest privilege in the world. Sometimes I catch myself going a little nuts because my son won't nap, but then I remind myself of the alternative (being at work and away from him) and realize that no amount of frustration is worth that!

  10. You are so sweet and I totally know what you mean. I was feeling bored and in lonley the other day and then I remembered that I would rather be doing this than working. Thank you for the reminder!!

  11. I have been blessed to stay home for three years and while I have never, for one second, wanted to go back to any type of work, I will admit to the “poor me” attitude. I always beat myself up the next day as well, but I think it's just human nature to have unhappy days, no matter what our lives look like.

  12. From a working mom who commented on your “bored” post…thank you for writing this one. It kills me to leave my baby and have to work 5 or 6 days a week. I really enjoyed reading this post because while I am jealous (of course), it is a blessing to know that there's a mama who really delights in being home and knows that it's something very special! Please don't think that working mothers are “super women,” though. Honestly, we struggle so much it's not even funny. Some women like working outside the home, and I think that's great because it sure would be a lot easier mentally if I was doing this because I WANTED to, not because I HAVE to…but for many of us, we struggle and feel like nothing we do is ever good enough…every single day. So thank you, thank you, thank you, for enjoying the time that you have with your precious boy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. I get it! I have been a SAHM, I am currently a WOHM with seven kids (Blended family, 6 kids and one stepson)

    I get bored to tears at work, I get bored when I stay home, it's all about timing and what happens in our life. Don't feel bad about it!

    We all have our times where we don't appreciate fully what we have. I would love to stay home with my children… but the way I look at it, since I can't right now, I will stay home with my grandchildren… In theory ๐Ÿ™‚

    But I'll probably complain then…. you have permission to come and hit me!

  14. I have the half and half thing going. I typically work about 24 hours a week on second shift so I get to be home with my daughter a lot! As awesome as it is to stay home with her (I spent her first six months as a SAHM because I was looking for a job) I personally can not do it full time, hubby agrees it affects me mentally. I need the out of the house time, the time to do something outside of my family that is important to me, aka my work. I love my kid (soon to be kids in the spring) but to be a good mommy I need to work.

    It may sound selfish to some but I want to be the best mommy I can be as does everyone else I'm sure and I think to do that we must take care of ourselves as well. If you aren't in a good place yourself it will effect your kids one way or the other. My kids will always come first but I need to have things that are my own and I think a lot of people forget this when their kids are little (moms especially) and then when their kids start getting little lives of their own they don't know what to do with themselves.

    I love that some women love to be at home with their kids all the time that's awesome and I admire those who can do it and do it well but I'm not one of you.

  15. Great post- I agree. I feel so blessed to be home with my little boys. And other days, I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out. I look at my well-dressed neighbors getting out of the house and going to work and think how nice that would be. Before my 5 month old came along and it was just me and my older son, I was REALLY loving this. The older they get, the more freedom you have to go places and teach/learn. I'm still loving it, but the baby stage is hard- and goes by SO fast! So I try to take in every moment and take deep breaths when it gets hard and take in their precious smiles! =)

  16. This is true. I, for one, sometimes takes for granted the fact that I can just stay home and work from home, on my own time. I don't have a boss, and if I feel lazy or sick, I can take a break or a day off whenever I want to. Now I do appreciate it because it's not easy having to haul my big behind going to work. So thanks Sam, you're right. I should stick it in my mind that I AM SO LUCKY.

  17. It is okay to have days and moments when you just need to get away. I really believe stay at home moms have a difficult job and sometimes people just think “oh poor you” bla bla bla bla bla. But you are allowed to have your moments – you are human! You should not be so hard on yourself – you are a great mama and that is evident in all that you do. Blessed you are to stay at home. I know how hard it is because by the end of the summer, I always think, “okay, let's get back to work” … then school starts again and I wish that I was on the stay at home plan ๐Ÿ™‚ Hahahaha. There is good and bad associated with all of it. I think you are doing a fabulous job, nonetheless! We all have to remember to count our blessings.

    Cheers ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Try reading the Feminine Mystique. Maybe you're bored because you should work a little bit. Don't be hard on yourself because you are bored from being cooped up inside all day. It is hard to do- but it is not absolutely necessary to do. Children who have two working parents (which is most of the population) do not turn out any worse than children with a parent who stays home every day. If you don't do something for yourself, and only for yourself, then you wont be a fully rounded person. For children to be happy, they need parents who are happy themselves. Don't put everything you have into your child- leave a little room for yourself and maybe a career.

  19. I work out of the home – nearly full time now. I've worked from home, with & without a nanny, worked part time out of the home. Because I have to, but mostly because I want to, since we COULD arrange things elsewise, but because we want our children in private school and because I LIKE what I do, I LIKE being a part of the business that my husband & I created before children, and have grown over the years, I continue to work. I'm not a super hero; I'm a mom. AND a working woman.

    I really don't think work vs stay home has to be an all or nothing arrangment! Show me a study that says a child with a bored mother at home, playing vapid games 24/7 is better off than a child w/an actively engaged, happy & fulfilled mother home half that time, actively engaged in meaningful tasks, playtime, and socialization the other half of the time. I don't think there is one.

    And though I don't know your situation, I'd say from the tone of your post, if you're bored at home on a regular basis, or have to convince yourself that the choice you've made is the lucky one, perhaps you should DO something to change! At the very least, make a weekly plan, get out more, take on more activities, try volunteering, maybe even get a part time job?

    As much as we want to believe it, your child doesn't need you on the floor playing blocks all day. Children are capable of far more than parents often allow. They grow & develop vastly when given meaningful TASKS & self-directed work. They can do & ENJOY doing the things adults to: sweeping, dusting, drying dishes, pouring water, folding hand towels – even the smallest toddlers can do meaningful work.

    I have to agree with anonymous above – part of happiness (and peacefulness) in the home, is that each part of the family equation is happy.

  20. THanks for all of your thoughts!

    I actually DO want to work part time eventually, just not sure when/where/how. My family is in limbo right now between my husbands job so we're waiting until things with that are figured out before I find a job.

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