Ask the Moms: How Many Kids Do You Want?

This question comes from reader Jessica.

“My husband and I have two kids right now, who are two years and five years old. I want 1-2 more but my husband tells me he is done. He keeps asking me why I want more kids and I tell him, I just do!! We think we might be able to agree on having just one more. So I’m wondering from you guys, how many kids do you want and how do you know when “you’re done?” Is it financial, age, did you already decide on a number… I’m just curious as to how people made the decision that they wanted or that they have 2, 3 or 4 kids. Or maybe you just do “whatever” until you “feel” done?”

While I only have one wakingupeverytwohoursatnight child right now, I always imagined myself with three or four kids. I want a big family and I hope that we’re blessed with at least one or two more kids.

What about you?

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

23 thoughts on “Ask the Moms: How Many Kids Do You Want?

  1. I always said i would be happy with just one (i am an only child) but i was open to the idea of two. hubby always said he wanted two. we had one and couldn't really nail down when/if we wanted to make the leap to two, so we decided to leave it up to God, who gave us our second son after something like 7 months of not NOT trying. Two seems perfect for us and due to me having high-risk pregnancies, we went ahead and had Hubby “fixed.”

  2. Well, we always said we only wanted one. We now have 20 month old twin boys. Right now we say we don't want anymore, but I'm not ready to make that final decision. I want to wait until the boys are 4. If we are to have one (or quite possibly 2) more, then I want it to be when they are getting ready to head into kindergarten. I could NOT imagine having two toddlers home with a newborn or newborns LOL!

  3. We have always just left that up to God. We take measures (used loosely) to time them when we are ready but a couple of times these “measures” weren't enough and we had another blessing in God's timing instead of ours. We now have four children ages 7, 5, 3, and 1. I am wanting to have two more at least but we will wait to see what God's plans are and how my hubby feels. We have decided to take it one child at a time and to not make any final descision right now.

  4. I have two, 27 months and 12 months. Since being married I have wanted 4…sometimes I can hardly handle the 2 I have! I just want to get to the point where I feel like I'm “done”, hopefully I will feel that!

  5. I always wanted to have 5 kids. My husband wanted 3. Before we were married we said that we would have anywhere between 3 & 5. Now that we have our two that are 13 months apart (ages 2 and 1), my husband says he is done. I still have that yearning in my heart for 2 more, but I am willing to wait a little while before trying for another. My husband agreed to discuss having another baby when our daughter turns 2, so we will see!!

  6. I always wanted 7! My husband wanted ZERO. We have two and I'm not done! We may have a third πŸ™‚ But then I'd have to compromise with him and be done.

  7. I started out wanting four. That changed when I had the second, who had gastro issues & was always fussy. Her tummy issues, combined with my VERY defiant three year old has made me content with two. However, other reasons, such as money and saving for college, for us, was also a deciding factor to not have more.

  8. I have one and have always wanted 2 or 3. Hubby pretty much has the same feelings I do. We will wait until baby 2 is about one year old and decide if we are done or want just one more!

  9. As many as the LORD sees fit to bless us with. Scripture says He will never give us more that we can handle right? Well I never would have known that I could handle a 4 month old, 2, 3 and 4 year old all at the same time (which is what we have right now)if we hadn't trusted God to guide us in this manner. I have days when I am ready to jump off a cliff but I have way more days when I feel more blessed than any other women I know. It's always an adventure here too, which is nice becuase I bore easily πŸ™‚ People often say that they can't afford to have more kids, but everytime I hear that I think to myself, “what price can you put on a child?” We do not make alot of money and we are currently trying to find more ways to cut the budget but we would rather have our babies than steak dinner any day!

    Disclaimer: I haven't read any of your comments and I do not mean to offend, I know that when some people mean they can't afford it they may actually mean they are homeless or some other situation so please don't send me hate mail πŸ™‚

  10. We originally only wanted one biological child and adopt one or two more.
    We now have THREE biological children ( 8,4,1) and my husband has been deploying for 12 months at a time every few years since before our oldest was born. That has not deterred me from thinking we are perfectly capable to handle more.
    So we are going to be adopting AT LEAST three more children in the next few years.
    8,9 years ago we never would have thought we'd have been blessed with 3 biological children and now we're excited about how God is leading us to have a VERY LARGE family.

  11. Before we got married we discussed 3 to 4 kids…I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship, and we have a 10 month old right now…we want 2 more and now also feel that God is calling us to adopt some time down the road…but we will leave it all up to God…so we are taking one at a time, but that is what we are leaning towards!

  12. My husband is from a family of 7 children and I am an only child. Luckily we agreed that idealy we would like 4 or 5. Right now we have 3, ages 4, 2 1/2, and 2 months. I am feeling very sentimental about the thought that the next pregnancy could be my last. (we always said we would plan 4 and leave room for an “oops”)For both of us I think we are just wanting to “feel” done. We also realize that as I have a cronic kidney disease (which will lead to transplant most likely when I'm in my 50s or later) we may need to stop at any point.(I am currently waiting my test results to see if my kidneys are still doing well after this pregnancy). That being said we practice NFP, are very confident in it's reliability, and would never consider taking permanent or artificial contraceptive steps even in a health crisis. My point is that I think for us saying “we're done” will just never happen…or maybe it would be “we're done, but open to the idea that maybe God isn't done with us”. Sorry if my response is a bit scrambled…I think I'm still trying to shake off my preggy brain…I always seem to have a hard time saying things clearly when I'm pregnant. πŸ™‚ Good luck with your descernment!

  13. I am fairly young (26) and have two little girls, ages 3 and 1. When people ask me if I'm done, I'm always surprised. I feel like I wouldn't want to make such a decision, especially at this time, and close myself off to the blessings God might have in store for me. I don't know how many children I want, but I don't think it's just up to me. πŸ™‚

  14. I always said that we could only have as many kids as we have bedrooms to put them in, which in our case is 3 lol.

    But really, we have one 13 week old right now and I just can't imagine him being an only child. We'd like 2-3, not sure why, it just seems “right”

  15. I'm from a family of eleven children and would love to have that many of my own! My husbands not quite with me, he's an only child πŸ™‚ I believe that they are gifts from God.

  16. What a good question. I actually would be satisfied with one or maybe two more. I knew the moment that Story was born that I would be having more children. It's just something you know as a couple, I think. Financial situation doesn't mean much to us. Age doesn't either. We like to “go with the flow” of things. Who knows when baby number two will make his/her arrival?!

  17. My husband and I always said we wanted only one. We've been pretty happy with that decision, but every once in awhile we talk about another, very vaguely and hypothetically. I think we'll see where we are in a year, but I'm thinking we'll stay with just one. For us it is a personal preference. I am not one of those women that enjoys the chaos of kids, I'll be honest πŸ™‚ And I don't have that yearning like a lot of women have for another, I'm pretty happy with my “one and done!”

  18. We have two right now-a 2 year old and a 5 year old. We were planning on trying for a third this past September, but pushed it back until next fall. We are only planning on having one more, but we're not doing anything permanent, in case we decide we want another.

  19. We never really discussed the number of children..but after 2 my dh said he was content with two. Then I talked him into 3..after the 3 he said he wasn't opposed to 4 but wanted to wait..but we got pregnant with our 4th before deciding for sure! Anyway I love all my children dearly but 4 kids is A LOT of work. 2 or 3 I think is perfect for still getting out and doing things easily.4 or more takes a lot of.. orchestrating. LOL

  20. We only have 1 right now. And I want another one so bad! My husband wants 8 or more. And I want however many God decides to bless us with. As far as finances go God won't give us anymore children than we can handle. And for age I'm 21 so I've got plenty of years left to have all the children we can have.

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