Night Weaning Isn’t for Me

I wrote this post a couple months ago and never published it. I wrote it a bit after I had completly  night weaned Lucas, I wrote about that here. It’s not relevant to me anymore, because Lucas is now 100% weaned all together – we made it to 1 year, my goal!- but I wanted to share it with you anyways. Maybe some of you are night weaning, or want to night wean or are considering it… here is my new take on it. 

I know this is probably going to sound silly.  You’re probably going to think I’m a little crazy or indecisive. And that’s fine. I’m not arguing with you. But you know, sometimes as a parent your might “experiment” with your parenting choices. You try making your own baby food for a while and you don’t like it, so you go back to jarred foods. You try putting your child on a schedule for a while and then you stop. Whatever it may be, you try different stuff until you find what works for you. Or, you find what works for you right now as every week or month might be different. I think I found what works for me. Or at least what’s working this week. 

I don’t think I’m going to work on or night wean Lucas anymore. I know, I know. I just wrote that incredibly long (but hopefully helpful) post on how I night weaned him. But, I’m reconsidering things.

 I’ll tell you why.

Well, I don’t really have to have a reason. I just don’t want to. I just…. don’t want to. Some nights he might nurse, some nights he might not. Whatever.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

You know what? I love LOVE sleeping with my baby. He doesn’t sleep with me much anymore, but he used to sometimes…whenever he wanted to. Last night I nursed him in my bed and afterwards he fell asleep cuddled in my arms with his hand on my face. It was like he was holding me. I wish I could adequately describe it to you. We were breathing the same air. I could hear him and feel him move. Our bodies kept each other warm.  It was one of my favorite moments.

So you know what? I don’t want to miss any more of those moments. I don’t want to look back and wish that I would have let him sleep with me longer. I don’t want to look back and wish that I wouldn’t have let him cry for 5 minutes. I don’t want to look back and wish I would have held him more. I want to live in the moment. And if I live in the moment, it means I get up from my bed when my son calls for me. It means I hold him or nurse him back to sleep. It means I bring him into bed with me and he falls asleep in my arms.

He knows the sign for milk now. It is possibly one of the cutest things I have seen him do. Like, he can communicate. It is just so amazing. If he wants milk, he tells me he wants milk. What am I suppose to do? Say no to THAT? Not possible. Sorry, not happening.

The first two months of his life Lucas and I spent our days on the couch. I remember those days so well. I remember the drools and the sleeping on my chest. I remember the nursing marathons and the bare skin against bare skin. I remember those beautiful days.

Sure I may be emotional (I’m not pregnant) because my son is turning one in March. But, I think after I wrote that entire post on night weaning, I woke up one morning and brought him into bed with me and thought forget it. I don’t need to sleep 9 hours in a row. I have slept in 4, 5, 6 hour chunks for 11 months know and I am fine. I’m more than fine. I’m great.

Who ever thinks that moms need or should sleep 8 hours in a row, is totally over thinking things.

Now Lucas is 12 months and is no longer nursing. He still wakes up once a night- usually around 3am- even though he isn’t nursing! I’m hoping that he will grow out of it soon, but it just goes to prove that just because you stop nursing at night doesn’t mean your child will start sleeping all night! They still wake up. It’s normal. 

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

14 thoughts on “Night Weaning Isn’t for Me

  1. This post made me smile. I've had to night wean my daughter recently due to her not REALLY nursing (just sucking) during the night and my desparate need for sleep being pregnant, having a 16-month-old, and working FT. Interestingly, she still wants to nurse if she wakes up during the night (which she always does) and anytime she sees cleavage. Haha. So we nurse in the morning (unless she forgets) and in the evening before bed (but I admit, I give in and we do afternoon sessions on the weekends).

    Your post touches me because you mention how precious it is to bed share and you also remind parents to not take a single moment for granted. I personally struggle having to work because I feel like I miss so many of these moments that will never return…

    Let your babies be babies, people! Do what you have to and what's best for your family, but ENJOY your little ones.

    🙂 Be blessed! Thanks for sharing this post!

  2. My 20-month old has been weaned for 6 months and STILL wakes up at least once each night. I gave up consecutive hours of sleeping ages ago.

    And now I'm sleeping with my new one. There is absolutely nothing more wonderful than laying next to a nursing baby until you both fall asleep. Nothing. I will miss these nights forever and ever.

  3. I think that the most important message to send to moms is to enjoy the time they have with their kids! They grow so so so fast and it's nice to know you've cherished every little moment like the one you described falling asleep with Lucas. I tell myself that every night when I have to go in and see why my almost 2yr old is crying “mama, where are you?” I signed up to be a parent, and part of that is being there for you child, and the reward is that precious smile, the cute little way they say hi mama, and those little moments when it's just the two of you in the world.

  4. I am totally going through this right now with my one year old. I have nursed the entire time and I am ready to cut back but it is hard! That special time togeather does go too fast like you said. I love cuddling with her and I will really miss it! I really liked this post! 🙂

  5. Jordan's weaned now but I'M having trouble with it. knowing i'm not having any more babies, that i will never nurse again, is KILLING me. every couple days, i offer it. once in a while he'll take a nip or two but isn't much interested anymore. it makes me sad.

  6. The thought of weaning Caleb breaks my heart…I don't want to imagine that yet…I love nursing him so much. We still nurse 1-2 times at night, we co-sleep so when he wakes I wake and nurse him to sleep. I love the closeness, the cuddling, everything. During the day we will lay down and take a nap together…I love this time too. Caleb gets so giddy and excited for bedtime…and I love that! He kicks his little legs and flails his arms, smiles and talks with excitement in a high-pitched voice when I say “Caleb, do you want to go night night with your mama?” So sweet 🙂

    Wish we could just pause these moments in our life, or go back to them at anytime. I know someday he will be so big, and I'll only get in a few hugs here and there. BOOO 😦 Trying to soak in these moments too.

    OH and I wonder how it will be with the next baby? Will I get so much snuggle/resting time with the next one or will it be a totally different scenerio with a toddler running around? You'll have to let me know how it goes!

    We lived on the couch the first two months too…I miss that SO MUCH. Oh, and I wake up in drool (my drool) very often HAHA

    :O) Love this post!

  7. “And if I live in the moment, it means I get up from my bed when my son calls for me.” You said it perfectly!

    When my son wakes up 2 or 3 times a night, I'm a-ok. We all had the stomah flu, then he's been teething, so for 3 weeks he's been up pretty much hourly. It brings me back to newborn days and makes me not want any more babies, LOL!

  8. Thanks for this lovely post. I have had fickle moments myself between my two little ones. We are human and I have accepted that what we all need changes… constantly!

    Just this past week my husband started letting our 2 year old back into bed with us to sleep. We decided we needed it as much as he asked for it. We love the closeness and family mornings. We enjoyed co-sleeping and have missed that with the crib. I will let my 6 month old nurse as long as she wants and we co-sleep. No worries… we have bedrails and keep the two seperated. I just love having them close. They are growing up so fast and soon won't need me as much.

    Each family needs to make the best decisions for them. That is all we can do.

  9. I think, that for you being a first time mom, that you have such a great perspective 🙂 When I was a first time mom, I thought my child would NEVER stop nursing or sleeping with us. I didn't savor the moment until my second was born 🙂

  10. What a special post. I enjoyed it so much. I know that one day I might have these feelings also, and I am already starting to savor the special nursing moments, as if they were limited. Thanks for sharing the “previously unpublished” post 🙂

    ~Ida Mae

  11. I nursed my daughter till she was 13 months old and I thought I was ready to wean her. But the first night I didn't feed her before bed I cried. It was such a wonderful connection and I really loved being able to nurse. She was ready but I wasn't.
    Thanks for sharing your post. I really enjoy your blog and am now following 🙂

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