In Which I Try to Explain Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom

For the past three months, I have been working full time outside the home. I have not dreaded it. In fact, I have really enjoyed working.  If my husband didn’t have a good career, I would most likely continue to work.  And, when my children are all in school full time, I will most definitely go back to working full time. But, for now I will be home during the days with my kids and work part time nights or weekends. Day care ( a good day care center or babysitter) is too expensive for working to make any sense, and I don’t want my children growing up with someone else parenting them.

Plus I really really miss taking naps.

I’ll miss working. I have loved my job and it’s been a great experience for me. However, I’m really excited to stop working too, and go back to being home.  Part of me is feeling overwhelmed with it, for some reason that I can’t seem to figure out. I’m finding myself a bit anxious, especially with #2 coming in October, asking myself if I remember or if I know how to be a mom. Not just any mom, but a good mom. The mom I want to be to my children. And yes, I know I’m already a mom. But being at home all day is certainly different than not being at home all day.

It’s sort of surprising me, but I’m actually having a hard time explaining it. Maybe it’s the lack of writing I’ve been doing, or perhaps the music I’m playing is too distracting, but I feel like the difference between a “stay-at-home-mome” and a “working-mom,” is so important and so different- yet so much the same- that I want to do justice in explaining it. I want my heart to explain exactly how I’m feeling. 
Oh, heart. Work with me! 

{One of the things I want to make sure I do on my blog is be real. I believe authenticity is so important, and I want to posses those traits in all things I do and in all the words I type. Sometimes, doing this, is best done by just going for it and saying it just how your brain thinks it. It’s like thinking and typing all at once, before that side comes out of you that want’s to erase, edit, back space, and fix. You just write whatever you are thinking at that exact moment in time. At least you knew then, that you were real.}
Will I remember how to be a mom? Not just a mom- but a good mom? I need to start cleaning the house more too, and I’m working on a system for that. I believe it’s my responsibility to keep the house in order, the bills paid, and healthy food in the fridge. I hate cooking. I seriously do. But I have to figure it out.  I’m excited to start doing activities again with my boy and watching him learn new things every day. I’m really excited to start going to mom groups again and meeting other moms and babes. I want to be productive during the day. Lucas is finally comfortable and loving play time in the day care at gym, so I’m looking forward to working out  during the day again. Walks during the day, trips to the park, zoo and library. Grocery shopping, playing on the floor, taking pictures, and maybe squeezing in a nap when he does. I think I need to buy myself a new schedule- yes!  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and I can do them well, because I am a rock star. 

Working outside the home is good. Hanging out with adults all day is fun.  Bringing home a paycheck every two weeks is really nice and it sure helps when I make a trip to Target. 
But being at home with my son? Oh, it’s so much better. And I am thankful for that. 

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

13 thoughts on “In Which I Try to Explain Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom

  1. You are blessed to be able to stay at home with your kids. It is a difficult decision to make- going to work or staying home- and while we all would love to stay at home, sometimes life doesn't work out that way. It doesn't mean that moms who work don't love lying on the floor playing with their kids or taking pictures. It doesn't mean that we don't pay the bills, go grocery shopping or cook.

    I'm a full-time mom, full-time student and work full-time and I manage to spend time every day playing with my kids, teaching them, feeding them, being with them. I pay bills and grocery shop and exercise. My kids aren't raised by someone else- they play at a friends house three days a week for about 2 hours a day. Same sort of thing as taking them to a gym daycare or to a moms group.

    Can I say I do it all? Well, yeah, I do. So do you. Every mom finds what works for her and goes with it. That's what being a mom is all about.

  2. Courtney,

    I hope you don't think i mean that you, or any mom who works, doesn't pay bills or play with their kids. It's just different… or for me it was/is. I will still work- just not during the day.

    I know you work full time and go to school full time too and I think you are AMAZING because of that!! 🙂 I hope you didn't take anything I said the wrong way. 🙂

  3. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be snotty. 🙂 I just think that sometimes moms that either choose to or have to work get looked down upon. I think its great that you'll be able to work a flexible schedule! Its like the breast/bottle thing- some moms have to bottle feed whether they like it or not- and can be looked down upon for it. The same goes for working moms. I don't think you meant anything negative in what you said, but just wanted to say that working moms are able to do things SAHMs do too!

  4. I loved this post Samantha. Pouring your heart out is not easy to do and I commend you for it!

    SAHM vs. WOHM is such am emotional tug of war with moms! oh my goodness…..both jobs are stressful and come with loads of guilt. If you work away from home you feel like you aren't there enough. If you stay at home you feel like you aren't doing a good enough job with the time you have.

    Just take it one day at a time….no wait. Even those are too big of chunks of time for me! Ok, I take it one activity at a time. I do my dishes, check! Feel great! I play and play and teach my children, check check check!

    I know that as you stay home with your soon to be two little ones you will have super stressful days but also a ton of wonderful moments that really make you appreciate being home!

    (and forget about the cleaning… least don't get all depressed if you run out of time for it all!)

  5. I'm really glad you're back to blogging. I appreciate writers who keep things real. You are going to get judged/yelled at/criticized no matter what you say or do, just stay true to who you are =)

    loved this post BTW

  6. I'm going through the same struggle right now. I'm so glad you shared how you feel. I have been working this summer full time while my school teacher husband has been home with our daughter. With school starting up in 2 weeks I have been trying to “remember” how to be a good mom. I've been doubting my ability to stay home with her all day. Feeding her, playing with her, etc. I'm worried her schedule has changed since I took care of her 3 months ago. Will I still have the patience for her that I need to spend the whole day with her? So many things going through my head that I know I shouldn't concern myself with, but I do. I hope you have a good time going back home with your son!! I'll try doing the same thing.

  7. It has been too long since I've been over to your lovely blog! Well, not just your blog, but TONS of my favorite blogs…. including my own LOL.

    I am starting out my 3rd week working full time. I have been home for the past 3 1/2 years and have finally decided to go back for a nice 12 week break before baby #3 arrives in December. I dreaded it, absolutely dreaded it! Even though I knew how extremely temporary this job was going to be I just couldn't believe that my days were no longer going to be filled with my precious kids.

    But I'm loving it! And I'm just going to soak up every second of it while I can do it, because come December I'll have that new little baby at home and early mornings to the office will no longer exist.

    I hope all is going well with your pregnancy!! I've been having blog domain issues lately, so my isn't working…. gotta use

    Looking forward to coming back more frequently!

  8. i've had this post sitting in my email for weeks and finally getting around to comment.

    you know i'm a full time working mom. i went from working 6- basically 6 to working 2-9. such a difference!! oh, i want to blog about that.

    but no matter what, we do do it all!! no matter if we work or not. God has blessed us with different talents.

    you're still working, right? still home during the day though? that's awesome!

    can't wait to meet #2

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