What You Should Name a Baby, According to 5th Graders

{Today I am 39 weeks pregnant. My favorite snack is currently goldfish and milk. I am very tiny. I have no stretch marks. I sleep really well. That’s all.}

My husband is a 5th grade teacher, and he asked his students to give us suggestions as to what we should name our baby and why. There are some great responses. Several made me laugh so hard- and I don’t know if that’s because they are really funny or because I’m just really pregnant.  Here are my favorites!

* I forgot to say that he asked for boy names specifically because we have NO boy names that we like! We already have a girl name picked out if it’s a girl.. but no boy!

You should use the name Garret because a good nickname is Garry. 

You should name your baby Nolan because Nolan is not a very popular name, so he would probably stand out more than Ben or William. Ever heard of Nolan Ryan? Famous baseball player? You can make up a lot of different nicknames for him like Nolie Polie Rolie Olie!

I think you should name him Phillip because he was my great grandpa and he was a WWII veteran and he lost an eye so now he has a glass eye but he’s dead. 

I think you should name it Coltan because it means Warrior in Hawaii. Also, because it’s a really cute name for a baby. How does it sound, Lucas and Coltan?? Like it. Oh!! I almost forgot it’s my brothers name. But you should see if Lucas likes it. 

You should name the baby Eddie because it used to be my cat when i was growing up until I was six years old because he died. Eddie was the nicest, smartest cat, and he would always go walk around the neighborhood. I used to think he was magic since he knew when I was sad he would comfort me. He acted so much like a person. But I think you should name him Eddie because Eddie would always play with the leaves in the fall. 

If I would name a baby boy, I would name a boy Jackson because Jackson makes me think of whipped cream, and that is one of the best things on Earth. 

That last one really got me. Jackson = whipped cream? Sure. 

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

18 thoughts on “What You Should Name a Baby, According to 5th Graders

  1. LMBO!! So, so funny!! I like the Jackson one and also the end of Phillip “he lost an eye so now he has a glass eye but he's dead”. So hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Hilarious!!! My nephew thinks I should name my baby “Put It Down” because he doesn't want me to hold her too much. He says I should keep my hands free to play Guitar Hero with him. LOL! Kids crack me up!

  3. Oh no! We had the same problem… seemed like all the boy names we liked had nicknames that we didn't like (hubs has a long first name and does NOT like/use the nickname – didn't want to have to deal w/ that for our child too). Well, we had a boy this time around and HAD to come up with one, lol. Finally settled on the first name we had thought about, six years prior when preggo with our daughter (& waited to find out).

  4. Good luck! Boy names are so hard! I've got three boys and it was difficult to pick a name we liked each time. And, we always came up with a girl name easily!

  5. That poor kid misses his cat SO BAD!! Awwww, it makes me sad.

    And you don't get the connection between Jackson and whipped cream? What's wrong with you?

    My cousin is due mid-November and she asked her 7-year old step son what they should name the baby. After moments of thought he goes, “Dingley.” So now we all call the baby Dingley.

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