Then They Grow Up

Do you remember your childhood? I remember some things; playing in this doll house with my mom, sliding down the slip n’ slide with my dad in the backyard, when my brother smashed a window at the lake, when I went to summer camp and my High School homecoming.

I remember wanting to paint my nails, get my ears pierced, get my belly button pierced. I remember wanting to wear make up, wanting to have a later curfew and wanting to drive. I remember wanting to have children, to be a mom.

When I grow up, I want to have kids. 

Then I found an amazing man and married him.

I remember talking (nagging, bugging, whining) to him about having kids. When are we going to have kids and how many do you want and how far apart should we have them?

{Because at that point in my life I thought I controlled things. I learned later that God works His way though your life… thank goodness, because I have no idea what I’m doing and my timing is never right.}

Then I had a child. Then another.

And they are two years old and almost five months.

My oldest is two years old. 

I know he’s not grown up yet, he’s got a ways to go, but he is, indeed, growing up.

He is like, a kid now. He eats sandwiches without them being cut up. He drinks from a real cup. He does things, and I look at him, and I’m just like, who are you and how did I ever get so lucky that I get to call you mine? 
Before I know it, my boys are going to be these smelly middle school kids who fight and date gorgeous girls in high school who wear shirts too low. They are going to play sports and get into trouble and stay out past my bedtime. Then they’ll grow up, get married and have kids (It better be in that order, boys.)

Today, on this normal everyday Wednesday, things are simple. Lucas is driving me crazy because he keeps asking to vacuum and we have already vacuumed the entire house. He is hitting his brother and he threw his food on the floor. Joshua is cranky- he needs to sleep and he keeps having these darn poop explosions that require a change of clothes and another load of laundry. Last night he was up a ton and I am tired and cranky and impatient.

But in the midst of all that, of all the things that are hard and tiring and frustrating about being a parent, there is the good, the perfect and wonderful, and the magic and joy. Lucas and I spent an hour reading books on his bed today before Joshua woke up. Snuggled on his bed together, reading the same two books over and over again. Those things get me. Joshua wakes up and we all play on the bed together for a while and he grabs his brothers face and hair. Lucas hurts his hand and brings it over to me so I can kiss it, and wala- his hand is better.

These kids are so little and care free. They know nothing about the world except what I show them and teach them. They’ve got their entire lives to be grown ups.

This is why…

I will rock my babies to sleep if he wants me too.
I documented  a first pair of shoes. 
I will play on the floor with them and (try really really hard, I am getting much better at this) let the dishes go.
I will let him play with paint and smear it all over his face.
When he dumps out all the cereal on the floor,
I will take pictures

… Because they are just kids. This is their childhood. They will be grown up soon enough, and for now, I just want them to be little. You know?

There is this song by Taylor Swift called Never Grow Up that I love.

I dare you not to cry.

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

3 thoughts on “Then They Grow Up

  1. I totally get how you are feeling-I feel like I should still have a baby and my youngest is now 2!! The days go slow but the years go fast!! I try and spend a good chunk of my day just playing because I know that someday my kiddos will not want to play with their Mom-why is that, I wonder?? haha

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