The Sisterhood of the Jeans that Don’t Fit

I hate jeans. Every single one of them. I don’t know what is so warped about my body that I can’t find a single pair of jeans to look good on me and be comfortable for more than two days.

It is so frustrating. I will try on a pair in the store and they will fit great. 5 days later they don’t fit right. I swear! Some places I wear a size 2, some places I wear a size 6. Some are too long, others are too short. Some are too baggy, others are too tight. There is never a PERFECT pair!!

And if by chance I do find a perfect pair, they get holes in them!

Don’t worry, I took some pictures of myself to provide visuals. I hope none of them scare you. I didn’t windex my mirror before hand, so be cautious of any optical illusions. I will be writing a photography post on how to take good pictures of yourself, so stay tuned. 😉

I have 5 pair of jeans.

I wear 2 of them. That bugs my husband more than you know. Just because you have clothes in your closet doesn’t mean you have to or should wear them. Obviously.

I have paid no more than $60 for a pair of jeans. I paid $75 for a pair of maternity jeans from Gap that I LOVED and pretty much wore every day during both my pregnancies. It was probably the best $75 I’ve spent, I got so much use out of them! They were super comfortable and fit great. But I’m not pregnant anymore, so moving forward.

The Tale of My Jeans:

#1 —

These are my new jeans from Gap. I tried them on in the store and they fit AWESOME. They were too long though, so I had them hemmed. I asked you all if you thought they were too short, and most of you said they weren’t. I still feel like they are though.

If I pull them up, they look like this. I think this is how you’re suppose to wear them. This is how they fit in the store. But when they are up high, I am wearing high waters. I don’t do high waters.

If I pull them down, the length is a little better, but they are way too baggy.

See? This is my butt. Way too baggy. They are like falling off me. I have poop in my pants.

#2 —

These jeans are too baggy and too big in general. Too long and too much flare. I probably bought these when I was in high school or something.

# 3 —

These pants are also from Gap. They fit pretty much perfect. Not a huge fan of the color. Not too baggy or too tight. Not too long and not high watering it up.

No poop in my pants. Score.

But the problem is, they have two holes in the crotch. Probably because I wore them so much!

The other side. Mad photography skills, I told you.

# 4 —

I don’t remember where these jeans are from but they are ugly and don’t fit right. I don’t know why I bought them in the first place. They probably fit good the day I bought them.

#5 —

I believe this pair is from Old Navy. These jeans fit pretty good. Good length. Except I can’t freaking button them. Minor problem.

*sigh.. 


I have issues.

Please tell me I am not alone and that you also have jean problems? Who thought finding a good pair of pants could be so difficult?

Where do you shop for jeans? How much will you pay?

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

21 thoughts on “The Sisterhood of the Jeans that Don’t Fit

  1. I own three pairs of Gap Jeans. In three different sizes. I have never paid full price for them – I wait until I have at least 30% off. The middle sized ones fit best but get too baggy by the end of the day. The smaller ones are tight at the beginning of the day but fit perfectly at the end.

    I love Maurices for jeans. They're Taylor bootcuts are my absolute favorite jeans. Ever. I bought a pair last week in fact. And the best part is they're only $29 and sometimes less.

  2. I love Gap jeans! I have like 6 pairs, but I have only paid full price for 1. I usually just shop for them on ebay. Once I found the style that fit perfect you measure them and thats how most people post about the jeans not just the size. I have a hard time finding jeans, so I'm hoping by the time it gets cold here my jeans will fit again PP.

  3. Ugh. Jeans & I have a love/hate relationship. I've always carried more weight in the middle so in order to get jeans that fit properly (e.g. NO muffin top) at the waist I had to go up a size which meant baggy in the thighs & butt and then you get that awkward saggy butt look and eventually they stretch out enough in the waist that they're falling down. Holy run on sentence! Anyway, I used to wear American Eagle jeans (pre kiddos). I bought a few pairs at that Plato's Closet place after my oldest was born but my body isn't shaped like it used to be so even those don't fit like they used to. Most recently though I did find that skinny jeans don't look half bad, so I have a pair from Old Navy that fit alright.

  4. I know this is going to sound crazy but go try Aeropostal. I couldn't find jeans at all then I found a cut there that I love. My favorite ones that I use to buy are no longer made so I now settle for the ones at Aero. The seem to fit the I have no bottom, huge legs and a super skinny waist that I have going on since kids.

  5. I hate jeans too. But, when I find a pair I like, I buy a WHOLE BUNCH of the same thing (in different colors if possible) so that I don't have to overwear them.

    #3–could maybe be patched…then you can at least wear them at home/with a long sweater?

    #5–if you are not going to be showing off the top 1/2 you could probably have someone alter this pair as well to make them wearable. I think they can add a little V of fabric & make a new zipper/buttons system to give you that extra inch or two…or you could do some extra crunches for a while & hope that works? I'm more of a fan of the franken-jeans plan.

    To the person who said there is no patch big enough–you'd have to either MAKE the patch (from one of the pairs you'll NEVER wear) or take them to a tailor.

    Can you still read the tags on pairs 3 or 5? Maybe try ebay?

  6. I'm in love with my Levi's from Kohl's, though I can't remember which “style” they were. 550, I think? My friend and I dubbed them the “magic ass jeans” because, bam! Them puppies WORK.

    And I usually pay around $30 a pair for them. But until the day I found these jeans, and the angels sang, and all that jazz? I HATED shopping for pants. HATE HATE HATE. So I get you. The right pair of jeans is a total game changer, and not the way they say “total game changer” in reality contest tv previews where almost every cast member is filmed making a ridiculous face and saying “This changes EVERYTHING!”

  7. I have a love/hate realtionship with jeans too! I have to admit I have spend a pretty penny on a pair of jeans (pre baby and pre hubby). I liked them, but they still weren't “perfect”. I did have a great pair from American Eagle but they looks like your #3 pair so I finally bid them farewell.

    Lately I have had a lot of luck with Express jeans. They are a bit more pricey than Gap (which is already pricey). But I have two pair that I am really happy with and they don't seem to stretch out too much.

    Lauren

  8. umm i buy the $20 pairs from walmart, if you really want to know what the info is, send me a message, and I'll dig them out. I'm currently wearing shorts as it is in the 90s here with 100% humidity and I'm pregnant.. so.. yeah.

  9. I LOVE banana republic jeans. But I won't ever pay full price. Normally I get them at the outlet malls… I think I paid $13 for a pair last time. Since I've been pregnant more than I've been not pregnant for the past 3 years, they've lasted me a while. 🙂

  10. First, do NOT blame your body for clothes not fitting. Every woman struggles with finding things that fit perfectly, and most of the time fitting well means tailoring (whether people actually do it or not).

    Second, you may need to expand your shopping pool. If you are unhappy with the results you are getting, but only shopping at the same three, four or five stores, you can see why your results aren't really what you want. It could take a LOT of trying on to find a good pair.

    Third, you also may need to decide that you want quality over quantity, meaning you need to INVEST in a good pair of more expensive jeans. You might be able to luck out and get some used or on sale (although used means they've been worn and stretched out by someone else), but spending $100 on a pair of jeans that you love and fit you well is better in the long run than spending $30 on three pairs of jeans that you don't really feel comfortable in.

  11. I love jeans… they are my addiction. Currently I have GAP, Banana Republic, Express, New York & Co.. okay a lot more than that but those are the ones I wear most. NY & C are probably my most favorite jeans; they don't lose their shape (can wear them days without washing) and if you watch their sales you can get them for $30 or less.
    @Stephanie, crunches will not take the weight off… those only make your ab muscles stronger. You cannot target your weight loss to one specific area. If you want the excess weight off your tummy, you have to do some aerobic exercise.
    Good luck!

  12. thanks guys.

    Brassy, your comments always make me laugh. 🙂

    I am going to check out Banana Republic! No more Old Navy jeans for me!

    The stomach issue you guys are referring to is called “extra saggy skin/fat after 2nd baby.”

  13. I was just teasing about the crunches–I know you don't need to do that! Definitely just kidding. (I mean who would I be to talk!)

    Anyway, I hope that you can find some jeans that you LOVE soon!

    I've discovered the love of khaki pants…since jeans were difficult. And being pregnant has helped too, since maternity stuff is SO comfy!

  14. I'm not above using a hair elastic to close the button for #5. Just throwing that thought out there. 😉
    Laura

  15. I've found that Gap jeans are the most consistently attractive and comfortable jeans on me. I LOVE the long and leans (I've had at least one pair of them in my closet since… 2005?) and recently bought a pair of their boot cut jeans. However, my length issues are more about regular length pants not being long enough/long length being too long and not all pants being too long so… not sure if I'm helpful at all. 🙂

  16. LOVE the light colored ones the best too….have you tried patching the holes? Super easy iron patch might do it? Maybe dye them darker? Never tried it.

  17. I sooo have jeans problems, too. I bought a pair after my son was born and now I've redistributed my weight or something because they just don't fit right at all. Ugh. I should write a jeans post. lol I'll bet we could all write about the stuff in our closets – things we'll never wear but keep for some strange reason…

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