More Loving and Less Judgmental

I love how having kids has made me a much more loving and non-judgmental person.

It’s not that I was a non loving person or was someone who judged every person they met, but holy cow, I have never seen my heart be more open and caring, more loving and totally just non judgmental as I do now. 
The other day, at work, a couple came in with their son who was probably around 3 years old. The little boy had his pacifier in his mouth as he walked with his parents. My co-worker, a male around my age who doesn’t have children yet, made a remark about the child was (apparently in his eyes)  too old to have his pacifier. It was in a judgmental and rude tone. 
If I didn’t have kids, I know I would have completely judged those parents and said the exact same thing my co-worker did. {Because before having kids I had this great idea about not using pacifiers. Now my 2.5 year old still sleeps with it at night…. Ha.}  Instead, because I do have kids, I put my friend in line. 
Don’t judge them. 
You have no idea what they are going through or why he still has his pacifier. 
Maybe his mom has been trying to wean him from it for weeks but today was just a really hard day and the mom really needed a break so she let him have it. 
Maybe this child gets really nervous/scared/sad in day care centers and the only way for it to work is if he has his pacifier. 
Maybe there is something deeper going on that requires him to have his binky.
It’s hard to believe it now, but trust me, when you have kids you’ll see. It’s easy for people to judge you, criticize and tell you how should or shouldn’t parent, but when it’s you on the other side of it, it’s not as easy as it seems. And, sometimes, you do things that you swore you’d never do. 
This is just one example, something that made me realize that woah. I am SO much nicer than I used to be. I’m finding myself being less judgmental and loving towards not just parents and children, but everyone.  
I am learning and reminded daily that we don’t know people’s lives. We don’t know where they come from, who they are, what they are struggling with, what they are working through, what they need. 
From a parents perspective, I think we have to be extremely careful with our actions and thoughts in regards to how we judge other parents. I feel like we are always judging someone else about their choice in parenting or the things that they are or aren’t doing.
Do you notice that you are less (or more?) judgmental since having kids? 
Do you have friends who say things about other parents and their kids that comes across as rude and judgmental? I think we all  do it to some degree. It’s part of being a human. I think it’s important to realize this though and strive to be more loving and accepting of every one. 
Never say never. A LOT of things change when  you become a mom. 🙂 

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

6 thoughts on “More Loving and Less Judgmental

  1. I agree! I was so judgemental before kids, MY kid was going to have apples as treats and NEVER EVER have a dummy. BAHAHA! Well I weaned my 2yo off her dummy, my son is 1 and still has a dummy for bedtime, and I certainly dont get away with only apples as treats for the now 3yo…

    Silly naive thing I was lol 🙂

  2. Yes, well said! I was a lot more judgemental before I had kids. Now it is another story, and I feel badly for all the times I was so judging of others parenting, all the while thinking I would do everything just right and my kids would be angels 🙂 Yeah right! My 2.5 year old still sleeps with her Binky, and she begs me for it during the day too. It is so hard to not just give it to her!

  3. Absolutely agree. I do things I swore I never would. I act in ways I would never have believed. I am nicer than I ever used to be and show more care and concern than I had before. It's amazing what kids do to you.

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