It’s only Monday, but it’s been a rough week for me so far. My kids were both sick this weekend – poor babies, but they’re bouncing back quickly and I have a feeling tomorrow they will go back to themselves – bounce house, anyone? I already mentioned on Facebook, but I called 911 because Joshua did the whole screaming-not breathing-purple & limp in my arms thing. He was fine, thank God. The doctor said he looked fine as well and said it was “normal.” Will probably do a EKG test just to be sure there are no heart problems, which I’m fairly confident they’re aren’t, but a peace of mind is always a good thing. I hope to everything it isn’t the beginning of what doctor thinks may be a “breath holder.”
I had a good cry and then I wrote this post. Sorry if it’s cheesy, weird, or emotional.
I’ve had friends recently come to me – or to their Facebook wall or blog post (ha) – with parenting woes, struggles, hurdles, decisions.
You guys. I am right there with you.
I just want to tell you that whatever you are doing right now, it’s fine. There will be a day when you (and me, and you and all of us) will be totally at ease when our house isn’t perfect and be happy and content just playing on the floor covered in dog hair and cheerio crumbs. ( I have become so much more at ease with it, and it really is a beautiful thing. I used to worry about dishes in my sink. Thankfully I got over that before my kids moved out for college.) We will be okay with giving our child a bath at night without any soap. Which, seriously, it’s fine – I do it all the time and my kids still smell delicious. We will stop comparing ourselves to other moms and feeling inadequate because we can’t homeschool like her or decorate like her or because yeah, we really do spend more time “pinning” things than actually doing them. Who cares? When we can just wake up each day and put on some mascara, some lip gloss and jeans and call it good. You got blush on or a new shirt? You’re freaking amazing today. When we treat ourselves with respect and love and everything we deserve — healthy food to fuel our bodies, sleep and relaxation much deserved, exercise for our soul and muscles, new earrings cause we rock and red painted nails just cause we want to.
Yesterday I didn’t get Joshua dressed. I let him wear his pajamas all day long, even when we went to the grocery store. Lucas found a pacifier in the car and I let him have it. (Totally against my rules.) They had a snack of fake cheese & crackers at the store and I didn’t put a hat on Lucas as we walked to and from the car. For some reason, it was oddly empowering. It was like I was saying, yeah world, I let my toddler wear his pajamas out in public. What’cha gonna do about it?
We wake up each morning and automatically we have all these decisions we’re faced with. Our to-do list that we started last night and added number 10 and 11 this morning, having crossed off maybe the first two things. The chores we’re suppose to finish so when people come over they think we have it all together. We go on these play dates and hope that our kids behave in a way that is socially acceptable or even better- maybe they will be so impressive people will think you’re awesome. Our goals, our “should’s” and then all the things we didn’t get to, forgot to do, didn’t want to do or just didn’t care about doing.
At the end of the day, to me, there are a few things that matter. And I’m just talking in the spectrum of parenting here, although if you have one thing lined up right it usually reflects the other things in life lined up right, but let’s just stick with parenting right now..
That I’ve gave my kids love and affection. Fed them a decent-enough meal to satisfy them and somewhat nourish their bodies. Provided them a safe and loving place to learn, play and grow. Gave them hugs and kisses and a million “I love you’s.” Laughed with them, played a few games of cars and if I’ve read more than 15 books — it’s an even better day.
If I’ve done all those things, then I think I’m doing alright.
You too, mama.