L starts Kindergarten in two weeks.
I have been having nervous stress building emotional breakdowns every day for the last week.
I am not ready for this.
I think someone needs to write a book on preparing yourself for the start of Kindergarten. I feel like I can’t contain all of my emotions. I am making mountains out of ant holes. I am making thunderstorms out of sprinkles. Mashed up rainbows. TORNADOES.
I spent probably two hours researching lunch boxes today. You know, I just want it to be perfect. I mean, it’s a LUNCH BOX. It holds his FOOD which is clearly VERY IMPORTANT.
My husband is all, Samantha, it doesn’t matter. He could take a PAPER BAG FOR LUNCH and it would be fine. *gasp* tear tear. I just. can’t. take it.
Then there is the backpack. Why does there have to be so many freaking options? I don’t understand it. Why do I have to take him to the doctor to get vaccination shots?
I don’t understand how I can be snuggling in bed with my 3 week old one day and then I turn around and he is like this real person who decides he is going to real person school. I don’t like how life works like that. I get it. I know it has to happen. But. Can’t it just go a little slower? Why do I have to be so emotional about it all? Why does it have to be so hard to let go? Why do precious babies have to grow up into amazing children? Oh how blessed am I. Overflowing love for my children, endless thanks and gratitude for my babies who are called as mine.
In my craziness that make sense, I am remind of several things.
1. God has my child’s entire life figured out. So even though I may worry and plan and over analyze his lunch box or shoe choices, it will never go past the hand of the One who made him and the One who ordains his life.
2. Love people. Be kind. Be helpful. Make friends. These things are what matter and if you happen to learn how to read or spell, hey that’s cool too.
3. Things will go chaos. Thunderstorms will probably happen. There might even be a broken rainbow that comes home in his backpack. And when it all breaks lose, I say it’s okay to stay home and snuggle in bed watching Wild Kratts together. Because, it’s just Kindergarten, right?