Last night I could not fall asleep because I am seriously sad that Joshua will be FIVE YEARS OLD next week. It means my youngest baby is FIVE. I can’t wrap my mind around it and it’s actually causing me anxiety and some baby blues.

It is such a weird and fast transition and it just comes suddenly, almost without warning. Birth through age five is such a fun yet exhausting and hard time. It lasts forever in the moment yet is over before you’re ready. I feel like I want to do it all over again. Not because I want to do something different, I just want to re-live that joy and chaos and snuggles and sweet baby stage all over again. I am just ready for him to be five!!!


I honestly still think he is like 3.5 so I am having a really hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that it’s the year 2015 and he was born in 2010 so yes, he indeed is 5 years old.  It is making me sad, yet I know I should be happy because he is amazing and healthy and so wonderful. I am excited for his future and to see what kinds of things he does with his life…. I just wish he would stay 3 for a little bit longer. 🙂


He is working on his five acts of kindness for this birthday. I am encouraging him to think of these himself. So far he’s come up with holding the door open for people, smile at people, and build spaceships for people. I’m anxious to see what he thinks up for the other two, I will post an update.

So now that I have no more toddlers in my house I think I will go cry because I can’t decide if I am really depressed or really excited.

Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

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