To be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed.
Its just so weird to be overweight, out of shape, addicted to food and hopeless for so long… and then, what seems like has happened over night (which I know it’s been months and years of hard work backed up by more months of hard work, but still it seems fast in this whole life span) I am at a healthy weight, reaching all of my performance based/fitness goals, in the smallest jeans I’ve worn since…. my 20’s, and feeling amazing.
People may look at my before and after picture and think, wow – she has lost all that weight in such a short time! And yes, I did lose the majority of my weight in about 5 months, but be rest assured that it has been back logged by months and months of internal work. And all that internal work? That has led me here.
I think most of you know that I have recently obtained my health coaching certification (and if you don’t, well now ya do! I am stoked to add that certification and knowledge to my personal training cert.) and to be honest, that was such a profound piece of the puzzle for me. As I was studying to become a health coach, I was using the principles and techniques on myself. I was literally coaching myself.
In all my years of personal training and working in the gym, do you know how often we talked about protein shakes, timing of meals, glute workouts and the difference between steady state cardio and HITT? Every. Freaking. Day. Like it was the golden ticket to transform someones life. AS IF you could JUST figure out the meal timing and make sure you do this type of cardio after this type of strength session because those together? That will change you.
Do you know how often we talked about mental health, emotional health, daily habits, mindset, family (food) history? Hardly ever. I never learned that stuff. No one talked about that.
But you guyyyss!! THAT is where you TRANSFORM your life. From the inside out. For life. Not for the next 4 weeks but for the rest.of.your.life.
So, I had to decide to become my own superhero. I wanted help so badly. I wanted someone to meal plan for me (because I needed a certain number of calories for each macronutrient, right?!) teach me all the things and save my life but… I realized that no one can save your life but yourself. You can certainly reach out and ask for guidance and support (which you should do!) to assist you on this journey because that accountability,education, and support system is so so important, but at the end of the darkest day, its just you : you. You have to find the tools, find the trainers, find the classes,find the methods, find the resources and then — you have to use them. You have to apply them. You have to invest in them.
Its funny, I never went on a diet. I know everyone wants answers of what diet I went on and I always feel a little awkward when I reveal that my secret was not in fact any diet at all. I can’t point you to any book that outlined my do’s & don’t foods for me.
My secret was that I admitted my truth to myself. I admitted that I was addicted to certain foods and had a serious problem with binge eating and eating those foods. My secret was that I discovered everything about myself that I could through reading, journaling, meditating, soul-searching. I know that doesn’t sound very fitness-y, but it’s the truth. I continued to do workouts that I loved – and only that I loved. I learned more about nutrition and food and what a balanced diet needs to look like for me. I literally had to re-wire the neuro transmitters in my brain (Neuroplasticity – it’s fascinating ) and shift my brain cells. I had to read and research and learn. I had to decide I was never going to give up.
I have hard days ahead. I feel like for every 2 days I get, I have the next 2 that are just hard. I think that’s just life? Some days I feel like giving up and diving deep into every craving and buying that jumbo size chocolate bar cake thing at Costco and eating it alone in the bathtub. Some days I feel like I can’t do it, like I don’t deserve it, like I’m not good enough. Some days I want to quit.
But. For every day that’s like that, I have another day following where I show up for myself. I get back on the train and I continue to learn and grow, adjust and tweak. I crush a workout. I hit a new PR goal. I do more things that terrify me so I can grow my mental stamina. I do more things that challenge me so I can develop grit and strength, perseverance and tenacity. I remind myself that I am in this for life.
And I never give up. And I always show up. That, is my secret.