I feel like myself today.

The last several years I have felt stuck, trapped, lost, depressed, I didn’t know who I was. I couldn’t understand it. I isolated myself from people, from friends because I wasn’t myself.  I cried out to God so many times…. literally I have strong visual memories of being on my knees crying out to Him to fix me. Cure me. Heal me. Give me freedom. Get me out of the bondage of junk food and show me what freedom looks like.

I don’t understand the timing of it all. But I am So THANKFUL for the journey. I am thankful for the scars and the wounds and the battle I have been through with food, my mindset, my weight, my emotions, my fitness, my self esteem.. all of it. It has shaped me into who I am today.  There is so much to share,  my story is so many layers deep. I wish I could find the words to share them all at once. I will some day.

Today I felt rescued. I feel free.

This picture is around Mothers Day, almost exactly two years apart.

One is a mama who never took care of herself, who didn’t know HOW to take care of herself or put herself first. I remember trying to stay afloat raising two small boys, missing family, missing the baby stage while cohesively begging for the raising of children to get easier. I used food as emotional and mental support. I used food to cure  anything that I was dealing with inside. The girl on the right — that is a mom who has learned how to take care of herself. To put herself  and her fitness as a priority. (that is so hard when raising littles, right??)

This a picture of a mom who has been rescued. 🙂


Published by Samantha Mellen

Certified personal trainer & health coach helping women transform their lives through fitness, abundant mindset coaching and internal peace. Mom of two boys, living life in Alaska.

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