I walked into the gym, looking around at the weights, the machines, the oddly shaped … things? on the ground, wondering where to start, what to do with them and what’s the best one to start with.
I remember at hot yoga, leaving the class half way through and crying in the bathroom. I was too out of shape to continue, in my long pants and old baggy t- shirt, I felt ugly and fat in a sea of size 4 gorgeous girls in sport bras.
I remember driving up to Crossfit, sitting in the car for a good 5 minutes before I got out. I felt intimidated and lacking courage.
At orange theory, I took a break to “go to the bathroom” I couldn’t run – it’s hard to run when your carrying more weight than your body wants. I felt defeated, looking at myself in the mirror wondering who I was and how I got to this place.
But despite all those feelings of fear, failure, and inadequacy, I kept showing up. That was my only goal for so long – to just show up.
So I kept showing up. I tried the classes again. I tried the gym again This time, when I left “to go to the bathroom,” I looked at myself in the mirror and reminded myself I was I was strong, I was worthy, I can do this. This time, instead of feeling weak and small, I felt powerful and capable.
At times I felt like no one understood. They said to just show up, like it’s so easy. Just like when they say to brush your teeth at night so you’ll stop snacking… like it’s so easy. They said to just start but I didn’t know HOW. They said to get over it, to move.. but I was stuck. How can you move when you feel so STUCK?
You just show up.
I know there is a girl inside of all of us that wants to feel and look healthy. There is a girl inside of us that wants to show up, that wants to do all the things, that wants to have energy, that wants to feel confident in her skin. We let fear, scheduling, finances, insecurities, and life obstacles get in the way. I get it, trust me. That girl is there… she just needs help getting out.
Help her out by showing up for yourself.
Help her by reminding yourself of your worth.
Her her by speaking kind powerful words.
Allow that girl inside of you to come out and play!
Help that girl inside of you show up.
❤ ❤ ❤
I see you. I hear you. I get you.
I’ve been there — some days Im still IN it — “just show up” has helped me get through it every single day.